When Support Feels Like Dismissal: The Struggle of Explaining Depression to Family

When individuals open up to their families about their struggles with depression or other mental health conditions, they often expect support, understanding, or at least a willingness to listen. However, many find themselves met with responses that dismiss their pain, invalidate their experiences, or make them feel as if their struggles are exaggerated or self-inflicted. Statements like:

• “It’s all in your mind.”
• “Just think positive.”
• “Depression is just a trend; you want to be part of it.”
• “Work harder, earn money, set goals—then you won’t feel depressed.”
• “You’re not actually depressed; you’re just lazy.”
• “You’re using depression as an excuse to avoid responsibilities.”
• “Our generation never had depression—why does yours?”
• “Eat well, sleep on time, and stop using your phone; you’ll be fine.”

These remarks not only dismiss the reality of mental health struggles but also shift the blame onto the person suffering. Instead of recognizing depression as a legitimate medical condition, families may perceive it as a lack of willpower, discipline, or a refusal to conform to societal expectations. This can leave the individual feeling unheard, isolated, and even guilty for experiencing something beyond their control.

Such invalidation can severely impact a person’s confidence in seeking help, making them question whether their feelings are real or if they are simply being weak. Many begin to internalize these misconceptions, believing that their depression is their own fault, which only worsens their condition.

Explaining the gravity of mental health struggles to family members who lack awareness can be challenging, especially in cultures where mental health is still stigmatized. Patiently educating them, sharing credible resources, and, when possible, involving a mental health professional in discussions can help foster understanding. Encouraging open conversations and breaking down myths surrounding depression may eventually lead to a more supportive environment.