Why does Love Marriages end up in Divorces?

Love and compatibility are the two cornerstones of a relationship, which are often misunderstood. Many couples fall in love believing that affection alone can sustain a lifelong bond, love can conquer all. But as relationships evolves, the emotional intensity that once felt enough often gives way to a more complex truth: love ignites connection, while compatibility sustains it.

In the early stage of a relationship, love dominates. It’s driven by attraction, novelty, and the brain’s surge of feel-good chemicals like dopamine and oxytocin. These emotions create a sense of closeness and security and the comforting illusion that “we’re perfect for each other.” Psychologically, this is a powerful phase known as idealization, where we unconsciously project our desires and expectations onto the other person. We see what we want to see.

However, as the relationship matures and partners begin to share real life daily routines, finances, responsibilities, and personal space  the emotional high settles. This is where compatibility starts to matter more than chemistry. Compatibility isn’t about perfection or constant agreement; it’s about emotional regulation, shared values, and the ability to navigate differences without breaking connection.

When two people begin living together, they start noticing each other’s patterns ways of thinking, coping, communicating, even sleeping and eating. Small differences in habits, hygiene, or lifestyle can turn into conflicts. What’s actually happening is a clash of conditioning in which each partner’s upbringing, attachment style, and learned behaviours come into play.

Many relationships struggle here because love, which once acted as foundation of relationship is often mistaken as compatibility. Without awareness and adaptability, the emotional connection starts to erode. This is one reason why many love marriages or long-term relationships fails after the honeymoon phase and it is not because love vanished, but because emotional maturity and compatibility were never built alongside it.

True compatibility requires more than shared interests. It asks for emotional intelligence and the ability to listen without defensiveness, to negotiate needs without manipulation, and to hold space for difference without fear of rejection.

In essence, love begins the story, but compatibility writes the chapters that follow. When both coexist that is when passion balanced by understanding, emotion grounded in acceptance, the relationships not only survive but deepen with time.